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Friday, January 20, 2012

My spot.........

I have a new favorite picture. It is the picture of me & my Daddy sitting on the front porch at Mom's house. Some of you may have seen it and "liked" it. Mom found it last weekend while going through a collection of her pics. The number one reason I love it so much is because it has my Daddy in it. The number two reason why I love it is because it has me sitting next to Daddy in it. Some people may think this is not a very big deal but it is a huge deal to me.

I spent the majority of my life sitting by my Daddy. Him in his recliner and me in my spot on the couch. Lots of Friday & Saturday nights were spent right there. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am quite a bit younger then my brothers. I did not have to fight with them over sitting space in the living room. They were either married and out of the house or they we just off doing their own thing. It is silly the things we view as sacred. That spot on the end of the couch is sacred to me. I don't sit there anymore. It's just not the same.

All of this leads to a point I promise. That picture has brought back a mound of emotion I have not been able to shake the past few days. Wednesday night was the Razorback basketball game. A game in which would have led to my Daddy turning it off at halftime. If Daddy was here with me we would have had several phone conversations about this game. Needless to say, I went to bed that night thinking about Daddy. This led me to dream of Daddy. This particular dream was quite different then most of my dreams about him. This dream seemed to last forever.

In my dream, everything was almost perfect. The Hog game was on the TV. I was in MY spot on the end of the couch but Daddy's recliner was empty. He was at the front door. I motioned for him to come in and he shook his head. I said, "Daddy, come sit by me." and he did not. I asked him over and over to come and sit by me so we could watch the game. He never would. It got to the point that I was pleading with him. Daddy finally spoke and said "I can't" and he left. I stayed in my spot .....on the end of the couch.

I know Daddy is better off then any of us. I know I will see him again. I know there is a spot on a couch next to his recliner that is MINE in his new home but for the moment I miss him and I am sad.

Monday, January 16, 2012

It's a list.........

10 reasons I know Loren Crow loves me.......

10. He tells me all the time. :)
9. He agreed to move to Traskwood 11 years ago & live completely surrounded by my family.
8. He did not run away laughing & shaking his head when we first started dating & he brought me cheese dip & chips to my house & I would not let him in because my parents were not home.
7. He logged many hours sitting at the foot of my bed or beside me on my parents couch while I was in college. He chose to watch me study rather then do anything else.
6. He stuck around even after Daddy threatened to end his life if he snuck in the yard in the middle of the night to leave flowers on my car one more time.
5. He sacrificed evenings & weekends for 2 years to make a home for me and his kids.
4. I have had 3 brand new vehicles since we have been married and he has had none.
3. He kisses me goodbye every morning before he leaves for work.
2. He accepts everyone of my personalities.
1. He ALWAYS gives me the chocolate at the bottom of the drumstick ice cream!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I have held it in as long as I can....

I am just a little aggravated.  A little aggravated with society.  A little aggravated with some folks that I don't have contact with and I have absolutely no desire to have contact with.  I will be the first person to tell you that my kids are spoiled.  Who spoiled them you ask?  Well.... that would mainly be me and their Daddy.  There are others who have taken part in the spoiling process but the majority of the spoiling too place right here..... in our home.

My children do not have the "best".  My oldest son did not get a phone until he turned 12.  According to him, he was the very last 6th grader to get a phone.  When we did decide to get him a phone, it was the "free phone" that you get when you start a new line.  You know... the one that is made just for talking and texting.  Picture the most plain phone ever..... and that is the one!  He was so happy to get a phone.  He had waited so long.... 12 whole years.  One again.... my kid.... did not have the "best" phone.  A lot of kids the same age as Hayes, have very fancy phones.  They have all the bells and whistles.  I know Hayes looks at them and thinks to himself "it sure would be nice to have one of those fancy phones".

Here is where my aggravation begins.  My kids do not have the best of the best when it comes to material objects unless "Realtree" is a name brand clothing line, then we do have that part covered.  But I don't think it is.  I do think my kids have a lot more "bests" then they actually realize, besides they are just kids after all.

My children have a home that houses both Mom and Dad.  My children have a Mom and a Dad that are trying their "best" ....everyday.  Trying out best to make sure our children have "better" then the "best" some day.     And 99% of the time, Mom and Dad really, really, really, like one another.  My children have a Mom and Dad that want to be together.  Our kids have never had to learn what the word "infidelity" means. They have parents that took their marriage vows seriously and understand that this gig is a lifetime commitment.  Parents that choose to seek attention outside of their marriage destroy their children.  It is a burden that the children will have to live with forever.   They rewrite the playbook for parenting.  Shame on them.

My children have had the same home for 11 years.  It is not the "best" house, but it is the "best" home for my kids.  They have not had to relocate on several occasions due to the rent being due, dodging bills, or even dodging the police.  They have not had to relocate because of a marriage ending.  They are able to sleep in the same bed every night.  We don't promise them more then we can give them.  We don't tell them we are building a huge house some place and then create lies over and over again as to why we have not moved in to it yet.  People who feed their kids these empty promises just look dumb.  We all know better.     Their home is not the "best", but it is filled with God, Love, Honesty, Forgiveness, Faithfulness, and Family. 

My children have parents who work in hopes of some day giving them the "best".  I am blessed with a career that allows me a large amount of time off with my kids.  I would not change that for anything.  My kids have a Dad that works hard.  He is at his job before most of us are awake and sometimes he ends his day when we are getting ready for bed.  My children have parents that do not want to take advantage.  My children have parents that know better then to try to create an illness in hopes of being able to get a disability check.  My children have parents who are honest about their careers and don't claim to have more money then what we do when the truth is they are just looking for a reason to sue someone.

I am just a little aggravated at some parents that are lying to their kids.  Here is the "best" lie yet.   You don't have cancer, you never did.  Stop picking this disease because it is the only one you can spell.