Man how time flies...... It does not seem like my little Evan should be 10 years old. Now I have two kids who have double digit ages. That can make me feel old real quick.
Evan was mine and Loren's 3rd anniversary present. He was born on his actual due date. That rarely happens. He did not get in a hurry to make his arrival in this world and to this day things have not changed that much. My pregnancy with Evan was in NO WAY similar to Hayes'. Evan rolled, flipped, tossed and turned all the time. In the evenings, I would just lay flat and he would go at it. I did whatever it took to give my ribs, back, and internal organs a break. They funny part is he is still the same way. Sharing a bed with Evan is putting your life in harms way. At deer camp Pops would always be the one who would 'get' to sleep with Evan. At one point Pops put Evan in a sleeping bag and zipped it all the way up thinking that would fix the problem, but he was wrong. :)
Thursday May 17, 2001.... I was at school and in a great deal of pain. I tried to work through it and not show it but one of my students was not too easy to fool. About 2 minutes after the bell to dismiss from first block had rang.... my assistant principal came in with a look of concern and told me to get my stuff because I was going home. So I did..... well ..... not actually home.... I went to my Momma's. :) Eventually we loaded up and went to the hospital.... only to be sent home. This happened again on a Saturday.... thought it was time..... went to the hospital.... sent home. I was getting a little disgusted with this routine. May 22, 2001, Evan was ready to grace this world with his presence..... FINALLY!!! I did not go to the hospital until I knew for sure I was not going to be sent home again. Honestly, I almost waited too late. Loren was headed to work and he told Momma to call him if they kept me and headed out the door...... with Momma following him. She told him he was not going to work today..... because I was having this baby today..... and of course he responded with "yes mam". :)
May 22 is such a special day..... Loren and I got the best anniversary present ever.... we got something we can enjoy all year long....... Evan Michael Crow....
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Really??? Today marks 12 years and 364 days that I have been married to my guy. It also marks the last night that I spent at the home I knew for 22 years. This was the only home I had ever known. This was home to many of my friends. I am sure to this day there are a few of our house keys floating around out there some place. This was the house the we would gather at before home basketball games and Mother would make mini-corn dogs for all of us and then we would load up and head to The Rose to play ball. This was the house that ONLY HAD ONE BATHROOM!!! and it still only has one bathroom. My niece, Sarah would always tell Pops and Grandma that they needed 2 bathrooms. Christian even made that comment last night to mother. This was the house that my friends (girls ONLY) crashed at. Mother never knew who was going to be there for breakfast on Saturday morning. People always felt comfortable there. Unless you were Jeff or Lil Jay and you were there at 2:00 when my Mother got up to go to the bathroom. :).... needless to say that only happened once. This is the only house I had ever called home. I had lived there everyday for my entire life. The only move I ever made was bedrooms. Both brothers were gone and I was finally back in a bedroom WITH A CLOSET!!! Yep... you read that right.... the only daughter in the house and I did not have a closet. My Daddy stole my closet to put in a shower in the bathroom. I understand that better now but then all I could focus on was.... how could I live without a closet.... somehow I managed to survive.
So in preparation of my wedding, we did the traditional rehearsal wedding and rehearsal dinner. The show was being organized and ran by Aunt Theda so it was done right! She had the ability to get and maintain everyone attention and if you dared to talk while she was talking...... you would be assaulted with a yellow legal pad. After the rehearsal was over, now the decision was to made.... "What do I do to celebrate my last night as a single woman?" The decision was easy for me. I went home and spent my last night in my home with my Momma and Daddy before I started a new chapter in my life.
I was so excited about getting married. From the moment I had that engagement ring on my finger, I never doubted for one moment that this was the man I wanted to marry. Along with the excitement came fear. Fear of leaving Momma and Daddy and that house. That house was my safe place.
The night before my wedding I sat in the living room and watched TV with Momma and Daddy as I had for so many nights throughout my life. I can't remember if we even spoke. That did not matter. It was the moment I remember not the conversation. Then I went to bed. I went to sleep in my bedroom for the last time. I looked around my bedroom at all of the memories on the wall (and the floor thanks to Shanna and Janna). I went to sleep knowing that this was it..... my final night living life as I have for 22 years. To this day, I am thankful for that decision.... the choice to spend my last night at home doing the same stuff I had done all those years and thankful to the parents that made all of this possible.
So in preparation of my wedding, we did the traditional rehearsal wedding and rehearsal dinner. The show was being organized and ran by Aunt Theda so it was done right! She had the ability to get and maintain everyone attention and if you dared to talk while she was talking...... you would be assaulted with a yellow legal pad. After the rehearsal was over, now the decision was to made.... "What do I do to celebrate my last night as a single woman?" The decision was easy for me. I went home and spent my last night in my home with my Momma and Daddy before I started a new chapter in my life.
I was so excited about getting married. From the moment I had that engagement ring on my finger, I never doubted for one moment that this was the man I wanted to marry. Along with the excitement came fear. Fear of leaving Momma and Daddy and that house. That house was my safe place.
The night before my wedding I sat in the living room and watched TV with Momma and Daddy as I had for so many nights throughout my life. I can't remember if we even spoke. That did not matter. It was the moment I remember not the conversation. Then I went to bed. I went to sleep in my bedroom for the last time. I looked around my bedroom at all of the memories on the wall (and the floor thanks to Shanna and Janna). I went to sleep knowing that this was it..... my final night living life as I have for 22 years. To this day, I am thankful for that decision.... the choice to spend my last night at home doing the same stuff I had done all those years and thankful to the parents that made all of this possible.
Friday, May 20, 2011
This week......
This week I have:
1. Worked all 5 days!! It has been a while!!
2. Paid my bills.
3. Done my best to ignore negativity from others.
4. Ate supper at my Momma's house.
5. Seen all of the loves of my life except for my married niece.
6. Bought 4 gallons of milk.... yes 4.
7. Been proud of my profession.
8. watched all of the High School Musical Movies with Laci.
9. Sat on the couch at my Momma's house with both of my brothers.
10. Wished I could take back something I said.
11. Seen all my bffls.
12. Read the entire blog of an amazing mother who lost her daughter to the evil disease called cancer.
13. Banned the boys from chasing each other on the fourwheelers while trying to shoot each other with air soft guns.
14. Made more then one mistake.
15. Drank more water then tea or coke.
16. Voiced my opinion when it comes to the education of my child.
17. Raised my voice.
18. Seen hurt that I wish I could fix.
19. Spoken my opinion when I probably should have bit my tongue.
20. Refused to get up and find the ketchup in the fridge because it was right where I said it was.
21. Picked up someones white socks and put them in the laundry room because apparently he does not know they way. :)
22. Put gas in my truck 2 times.
23. Made a grocery list and lost it.
24. Counted how many days of school we have left.
25. Focused on what matters the most.
1. Worked all 5 days!! It has been a while!!
2. Paid my bills.
3. Done my best to ignore negativity from others.
4. Ate supper at my Momma's house.
5. Seen all of the loves of my life except for my married niece.
6. Bought 4 gallons of milk.... yes 4.
7. Been proud of my profession.
8. watched all of the High School Musical Movies with Laci.
9. Sat on the couch at my Momma's house with both of my brothers.
10. Wished I could take back something I said.
11. Seen all my bffls.
12. Read the entire blog of an amazing mother who lost her daughter to the evil disease called cancer.
13. Banned the boys from chasing each other on the fourwheelers while trying to shoot each other with air soft guns.
14. Made more then one mistake.
15. Drank more water then tea or coke.
16. Voiced my opinion when it comes to the education of my child.
17. Raised my voice.
18. Seen hurt that I wish I could fix.
19. Spoken my opinion when I probably should have bit my tongue.
20. Refused to get up and find the ketchup in the fridge because it was right where I said it was.
21. Picked up someones white socks and put them in the laundry room because apparently he does not know they way. :)
22. Put gas in my truck 2 times.
23. Made a grocery list and lost it.
24. Counted how many days of school we have left.
25. Focused on what matters the most.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Your gonna miss this....
"Your gonna miss....your gonna want this back....your gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast". Man..... I love that song. It is so true. I never realized how the years fly by until I became a mother. It seems like just yesterday I was changing Hayes's diapers and now he is only 4 years away from getting his drivers license. I can honestly say I live with the "I can do that later" mindset. Just last night I didn't fold the laundry because Laci wanted me to watch High School Musical with her. The laundry is still there today.... the moment to snuggle with my baby girl is gone.....well at least until tomorrow night since we are dvr'ing High School Musical 3 tonight. I do not spend my summer vacation scrubbing bathtubs, organizing closets, or mopping floors. I do spend my sacred time with my babies picking blackberries, playing at the lake, and making random but much needed runs to Hobo Joe's. I don't want to be 70 years old and wish I had spent more time with my family..... I plan to do it now. Maybe one of these dyas all my laundry will be folded neatly and put away and maybe one of these days there will not be any dirty dishes in the sink.... but for now the laundry is left undone and last night's supper dishes are in the sink...... because I have T-BALL game to watch.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Benevolence
BENEVOLENCE-- The desire to do good to others; goodwill; charitableness; an act of kindness
I really like this word. I like this word because it sounds good. I like this word because it has more then 5 letters. I like this word because it makes me feel taller when I say it. (I know... that is strange but it does). I like this word but I LOVE the meaning of it. I love the meaning because it is what we should all do. I love the meaning because we want others to be benevolent towards us. I really love the meaning of this word because it was what the Bible tells us we should do.
The act of BENEVOLENCE is practically non-existent in today's society. I will admit, I am very guilty of this. We are caught up in the mindset that if we do something that takes any extra effort we should automatically get something in return. Should we always expect to be recognized for our acts of kindness.... NO.... we should not.
At this very moment, I can think of a woman who I have known for several years whom I consider to have the sweetest spirit that any human can have. She is a BENEVOLENT human being. I know my name has been mentioned in many of her prayers over the years. I know what she gives from the heart not expecting anything in return. She will go without so others will not.
BENOVELENCE..............
I really like this word. I like this word because it sounds good. I like this word because it has more then 5 letters. I like this word because it makes me feel taller when I say it. (I know... that is strange but it does). I like this word but I LOVE the meaning of it. I love the meaning because it is what we should all do. I love the meaning because we want others to be benevolent towards us. I really love the meaning of this word because it was what the Bible tells us we should do.
The act of BENEVOLENCE is practically non-existent in today's society. I will admit, I am very guilty of this. We are caught up in the mindset that if we do something that takes any extra effort we should automatically get something in return. Should we always expect to be recognized for our acts of kindness.... NO.... we should not.
At this very moment, I can think of a woman who I have known for several years whom I consider to have the sweetest spirit that any human can have. She is a BENEVOLENT human being. I know my name has been mentioned in many of her prayers over the years. I know what she gives from the heart not expecting anything in return. She will go without so others will not.
BENOVELENCE..............
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Mercies in disguise
I heard a song today that I have never heard before. I honestly don't know the official title or who sings the song. What I do know is I heard this song for a reason today and I firmly believe this song was played just for me. I will not get into all of the lyrics of the song. The part that is stuck in my head and my heart goes like this.... "what if all of these trials were actually mercies in disguise?". WOW.._.. I felt like I had just been slapped across the face. Isn't it amusing what God does to get our attention. I know all of you know what "trial" I have had in my life. I have friends that are so dear to me who have had their loved ones taken from them way before they wanted to let them go...and they are left with a void that will never ne filled.just as I have to. A Dad taken away right when he was needed the most to guide a son throughout his life..... a brother who was taken away right in the middle of the best years of his life... a sister taken from her children when she should have been left here to take care of them .... a mother who was taken from her daughter right after the biggest moment of her life at that point and babies that never had the chance. None of these events are fair.... none of them seem right in our eyes. It is hard to look at these and not show anger towards God. I have and I still do. A former teacher of mine told me it was ok to be angry at God...shout at God...he was big enough to take it. I am not promising I will always look at the loss of my Daddy as a "mercy in disguise ". But I can think about these lyrics and try.
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