My spot.........

I have a new favorite picture. It is the picture of me & my Daddy sitting on the front porch at Mom's house. Some of you may have seen it and "liked" it. Mom found it last weekend while going through a collection of her pics. The number one reason I love it so much is because it has my Daddy in it. The number two reason why I love it is because it has me sitting next to Daddy in it. Some people may think this is not a very big deal but it is a huge deal to me.

I spent the majority of my life sitting by my Daddy. Him in his recliner and me in my spot on the couch. Lots of Friday & Saturday nights were spent right there. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am quite a bit younger then my brothers. I did not have to fight with them over sitting space in the living room. They were either married and out of the house or they we just off doing their own thing. It is silly the things we view as sacred. That spot on the end of the couch is sacred to me. I don't sit there anymore. It's just not the same.

All of this leads to a point I promise. That picture has brought back a mound of emotion I have not been able to shake the past few days. Wednesday night was the Razorback basketball game. A game in which would have led to my Daddy turning it off at halftime. If Daddy was here with me we would have had several phone conversations about this game. Needless to say, I went to bed that night thinking about Daddy. This led me to dream of Daddy. This particular dream was quite different then most of my dreams about him. This dream seemed to last forever.

In my dream, everything was almost perfect. The Hog game was on the TV. I was in MY spot on the end of the couch but Daddy's recliner was empty. He was at the front door. I motioned for him to come in and he shook his head. I said, "Daddy, come sit by me." and he did not. I asked him over and over to come and sit by me so we could watch the game. He never would. It got to the point that I was pleading with him. Daddy finally spoke and said "I can't" and he left. I stayed in my spot .....on the end of the couch.

I know Daddy is better off then any of us. I know I will see him again. I know there is a spot on a couch next to his recliner that is MINE in his new home but for the moment I miss him and I am sad.