I shake my "head" back & forth....

Well tomorrow is the first day of 2012 and we still don't have humans living on the moon or have flying cars. I don't make resolutions because I know I won't keep them but I am happy for those of you that do make them and proud of your commitment.

I have lots of prayers for the upcoming year. I pray for a year without loss. The number of loved ones being lost each year is growing. Is that part of life? Is that part of getting older? Maybe so....... If it is part of life and getting older then why is a majority of the people we are losing younger? There is nothing right about burying someone who has not had the chance to live. But in the end, I remember I am not the Giver of life....therefore I am not the Taker of life either.

I also hope I shake my head a little less this year. I shake my head when people amaze me. Amaze me in a negative manner. Those who make me say "what in the world were they thinkin? Were they thinking at all?". I hope some of the adults I know begin to realize that every move they make and every decision they make affects their family.....their spouses...their kids....their parents..... All of their family!!!! And sadly, their actions rip families apart. Scars are not erased..... They may be masked...concealed....but not erased. Stop relying on "second chances". You only have one shot at raising your kids. The decisions you make as a parent in this very moment stays with the child for the rest of their life. Do you honestly want your child to remember they way you lived life as "what not to do"? Just imagine if you lived your life without needing to look down at the ground and avoid making eye contact with people you walk by. Be real......or you will eventually be "alone".

I know that I do not "walk on water". I make mistakes....daily. But... I am proud to say that my legacy is my family. They are my heart....my reason to breathe....my whole entire world. Nothing or nobody is worth risking their love and respect for me.

Lauana Lane

Ask most anyone around here why we have a road named Lauana Lane and they will be able to tell you.  Lauana Lane is named after my grandmother, my Daddy's mother.  Her name was Sarah Lauana Cooper. 

I never had the honor/ pleasure of meeting/ knowing her.  She passed away shortly after Kevin was born.  Momma will tell you that she waited to pass until Kevin was born.  Hung on long enough to welcome one more Cooper grand kid to the world.  You know she had to be so excited when Tami finally made her appearance.  She had 6 grandsons.  Finally a girl!!!!  Cooper girls from my generation are very few..... only 2.  That makes us a little special.

So, I never physically met MawMaw but from all of the stories I have been told from many different sources, I fell as though I am somewhat acquainted with her.  My Grannie talked of MawMaw often.  Grannie thought of MawMaw as her sister.  She referred to MawMaw as being the best person she had ever know.  Grannie lived to be 92, so she had known quite a few people in her day.  What a reunion they must have had when Grannie took her last earthly breath. 

My Momma refers to MawMaw as the greatest Mother-in-law ever possible.  I am pretty sure Aunt Linda and Aunt Shirley share this opinion with Momma.   Momma and Daddy made their home next door to MawMaw and PaPa.  When Mother and Daddy moved there, MawMaw made them agree to leave this one cedar tree standing in the yard.  To this day, that tree is still there.  It has been lit up for Christmas, it has had many balls stuck up in it, and it has served as base for many games of tag.  I have never heard any "Marie Barone" horror stories from Momma. However, I have heard stories of MawMaw laughing at Momma and Daddy out in the yard having a food fight back in their younger days.  Momma also once told me that MawMaw told her that she had to learn to cook something besides fried pork chops and gravy for Daddy.  I know Daddy never complained about that meal at all!!  Mother has never mentioned anything negative about her.....makes me wonder if there was anything?

Johnny and Jimmy have often shared stories of their love for MawMaw......their childhood days spent in and out of her house.   To be honest, it makes me a little jealous.  I never got the chance to run next door to MawMaw's house.  Never had a chance to make those memories, so I must rely on the ones that they share.  Johnny talks about the time he tried to run away from home and he was moving down to MawMaw and Papa's house and she wouldn't let him stay.  She also used to get a kick out of her guineas pecking at him.  I have also been told that if you fought too much around her, she would make you sit and look at each other.  That must have been torture to have to look at someone you wanted to rub in the dirt.  Many memories  were made on her front door steps by the Cooper Cousins  lucky enough to have known her.

I know my Daddy loved her.  His face lit up every time he talked of his Momma.  He called her "Mother" or sometimes "Momma" but mostly "Mother"  when he spoke to me of her. He talked of her cooking, the way she ironed, her chickens...etc.  I wish I could recall every story he had EVER shared with me about her but I can't.  But I can picture his face as he told me.  Daddy's face was a perfect reflection of a son's love for his Momma.  She was taken from him way too early in his life, but I know she watched as he and Momma built and cared for their family.

The days after Daddy passed many people tried to comfort me.  Some did and some got on my nerves.  :)
I will always remember a conversation I had with Uncle Delbert on the front porch of Mother and Daddy's house.  Uncle Delbert told me that Daddy was happy.  When he first said that to me,  those were not comforting words but as he continued to talk through his tears, his point became more clear. He told me Daddy is happy right where he is at.  He is with Momma and knowing that.... was the only way he could accept this. Daddy finally got to see his Momma again.  A day he had been waiting on for a very long time.

Someday..... Daddy will introduce me......

Come home Crystal

Tonight's writing will be straight to the point. I need everyone who reads this to whisper this statement to God tonight when you say your prayers. "Lord, bring Crystal home safely.". Crystal is a very special young lady from Avilla church that I love very much. She has ran away from home. Nobody has seen or heard from her since Wednesday. I have not mentioned this since I found out because I was praying it would resolve quickly. Her parents, as well has her friends, who are more like sisters are sick with worry. We all are. I just told her the Wednesday of the funeral that she was one of the best parts of me......Crystal....you still are. Lord please put your protective hand on Crystal and bring her home.

Unusual Blessings :)

It has been a while since I have written.  No particular reason.

2011 has been a tough year around here.  2010 was a tough one also.  It seems the older I get the tougher each year gets.  2011 has been grim to say the least.  So many young lives gone too early.  That is just my opinion.  But I know The Maker.  He giveth life and He taketh it away.  My dear friend Darci lost a very special student of her's this year.  Glen Rose lost it's Ladybug.  And my family lost a diamond in the rough, Tanner.  I know the Momma's of these new angels would give anything to have just one more day with them.

So...... this blog will contain some unusual blessings:

1.  I am blessed to have a little girl asleep in floor with Hannah Montana Daisy's huge head rested upon Laci's leg and 2 knot-headed boys asleep some where in this house.
2.  I am blessed with a clothes basket full of socks.....  albeit....a very frustrating beast in itself to conquer.... the owners of all of those socks are my reasons to live.
3.  I am blessed with stale french fries under the seats of my suburban.
4.  I am blessed with empty toilet paper rolls still on the toilet paper holder.
5.  I am blessed with friends that make me smile even when they text me while I am sleeping.
6.  I am blessed with too many open cereal boxes.
7.  I am blessed with a refrigerator that has a broken shelf in the door that has been repaired with camo duct tape.
8.  I am blessed with need to know exactly what my children are wearing every time they are away from me.
9.  I am blessed with a stack of folded towels that has been passed by everyone in the house and nobody made an effort to put them away.
10.  Lastly, I am blessed knowing that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, so my priorities don't lie in having a clean house, clean vehicle, or perfect kids but in making sure when my family closes their eyes every night, they know that they are my world.

This past summer, one of my blogs consisted of comparing myself to a Momma duck because my children seemed to follow behind me just like baby ducks follow their mom.

I now have a new animal in which to compare myself too recently. I have become a bulldog. Why do I chose a bulldog? I guess because I see bulldogs as having little to no tolerance for those people who are just rude or they are completely oblivious that some of the decisions they make are just insane. Some people talk when they need to remain silent. I think as a whole society is becoming a little numb to just ignoring people and their rude or uncalled for comments. The older I get the more trouble I have ignoring them. If someone is bad-mouthing a friend of mine and I hear it, I have a hard time shrugging it off. The "bulldog" in me starts to growl and me and that individual end up having some "type" of conversation. I have to admit, it makes Loren a little nervous when I give some people this certain look, followed by one of my famous... "Excuse me?"

Just this past week, Hayes, Laci, and myself were standing at the redbox at the Malvern Wal-Mart. Three young adults/ teenagers walked right by all three of us, using the most horrible language I have ever heard. I turned and glared at them..... preparing my speech. Then I hear my son in my ear, saying "Please don't Momma, Please don't". So, I decided to let them by with a "look". I am thinking Hayes was really relieved!

I can also compare myself to a bulldog when it comes to making sure my kids get the education that they deserve. If at any point I think that any of my children are being slighted even the least little bit, it is time to take action. I am a teacher of students who have individual needs. I also have a child that requires special instruction. Since my child was identified, it has been a battle to get him the appropriate services he needs and it has been a battle to retain those services when some thought he did not need them. It has been a battle to make sure those services are consistently being provided. I will not go into all of the details of these battles that I have fought and will continue to fight. But I will say, they were and are unnecessary. I will always be my child's advocate when he is being denied what he is entitled to. I'm always ready.

I am a "bulldog".

A "first" that I hope is a "last"

Loren and I had a "first" this morning. For the first time, we had to tell Hayes and Evan of a death of a child. We had to tell them Morgan left this earth. We had to tell them that God was done seeing Morgan hurt. God was done seeing her suffer. God had enough. God did not see fit to give Morgan and earthly healing. He gave her so much more. He gave her a Heavenly healing. Morgan deserved so much better then this old world had to offer.

These babies cannot understand why Morgan had to leave and frankly most of us adults don't understand either. We will never fully understand until we are able to look upon Jesus' face just as Morgan was able to do today. The prayers that were once said for Morgan are now being said for her family.

The first time I met Morgan was at Lake Degray. Her family was camping at the same time our family was. She really liked Evan. I remember watching her and Evan play chicken fight in the water. She bossed Evan every step of the way..... and like a gentleman.... Evan listened. One of Evan's responses this morning when we had to tell him she was gone was "now she is cancer-free". Yes Evan, she is cancer free.

I have lived in Glen Rose all of my life. There have been many events that have taken place over the years in my hometown. Nothing has EVER impacted this community like the life that little Morgan Anderson led. Her life was short, eight years is not long enough. But Morgan accomplished more in 8 short years then I will accomplish in my lifetime. Not one single person from GR will be able to look at a ladybug and not think of "our" ladybug. Morgan did her job and now it is time for her to rest. We are all better from having known her.

My heart hurts so much for the Anderson family.

"Constants......"

I know that we all have "constants" in our life. Things that are ALWAYS there. Some of these "constants" are good, some of these "constants" we could live with or live without and some of these "constants" we wish would go away and never be seen or heard from again. I also have some "constants" in my life that get on my nerves one minute and then I stop and realize that these certain "constants" are really little reminders of how lucky of a person I am.

1. I am constantly doing laundry..... but that is ok....it reminds me of how lucky and blessed I am to have my family.

2. I am constantly buying milk...... but that is ok ..... because it reminds me that my family is not stuck on drinking sodas all the time.

3. I am constantly putting gas in my suburban..... but that is ok.... because it reminds me that I am lucky enough to be able to go back and forth to many practices and spend my weekends at their ball games.

4. I am constantly tired...... but that is ok ..... because it reminds me that I am blessed to be healthy and have the ability to get out of bed everyday and go to a job that I dearly love.

5. I am constantly picking up Loren's socks and taking them to the laundry room..... but that is ok..... because it reminds me that he is here with me and I know there is no place he would rather be.

6. I am constantly creeping on my niece's, nephew's and nephew-in-law's facebook pages because they are not around anymore as much as I want them to be.... but that is ok..... it reminds me of all of the memories I have of them that I will never let go of.

7. I am constantly hugging and kissing my babies.... but that is ok.... it reminds me of how quickly they will be gone and I cannot hardly stand the thought of that.


8. I am constantly missing my Daddy..... but that is ok..... or at least for the moment it is..... because it reminds me that I was so deeply blessed to be the daughter of Muriel Cooper and I am anxiously awaiting the day to get to talk to him again.

9. I am constanly in awe of my Momma..... she is the strongest, kindest person that I know.

10. I am constantly reminded that life is too short to spend criticizing others. You should be happy with who they are.... not who you want them to be because you just might end up without them.