Can anyone guess what I am going to blog about today????  Yep you got it!!  The wedding...... my baby niece's sweet wedding.  I am going to admit it....  I dreaded this wedding.  I dreaded it because it meant we had to let part of her go.  She was ready to create her own life with the man that she loves.  I want their love to last a lifetime.  I want them to give me as many sweet little great nieces and nephews as they want.  I was just fine leading up to the ceremony until she began that walk down the isle with my brother.  This was it......  it was really happening.  Part of me wanted to jump out in the isle and say.... "WAIT!!!  STOP!!!  Are you sure???  Have you thought this through??"  but I resisted and just let her pass by.  I could not look right at her face because then she would see my huge alligator tears that were pouring down my face.  This was it....  Jimmy was about to go and give Emilee to Devin.  Devin now assumes responsibility for one of my most prized possessions.  All we can do is trust that he loves her and will put her life before his.  The ceremony was beautiful.  My sweet Laci was the best little flower girl ever.  My other nieces looked gorgeous.  They had on their cowboy boots with their pretty bridesmaid dresses.  Family and friends watched as a couple began their journey as one.  Everything went so smooth...... no bumps...... no drama.  Thank you Pops for the beautiful weather Saturday.  We know you were there. 

The Protector

     My Daddy has always been my protector and the protector of the family.  He was a very silent type.  He did not need to speak much nor loud.  When he did speak, you heard him.  You remembered what he said.  I have witnessed him protecting his family on many occasions.  I have seen him make his point to folks who thought he was not serious when he spoke.  I have seen several grown men step in between him and others trying to contain him when someone said the "wrong thing" towards one of his kids.  He once told someone who had crossed the line by using me to get to someone else that there are 2 women on this Earth that you do not mess with.....  one is my wife and the other is my daughter.  This person got the point with those few words that it was time to rethink how they handled the situation.  There were no lengths he would not go to to keep his family safe.  Even as he was dying, he was putting us first.

One year ago today reality set in for my family.  We were in the cafeteria of Baptist Hospital just about to eat lunch.  It had already been a bad day for us little did we know bad was about to get worse.  "Code BLUE room 927, Code BLUE room 927".  We all froze.  The 9th floor is designated as the cardiac wing.  We did not know why they assigned Daddy to that floor.  Daddy had cancer not a bad heart.  I looked at Jimmy and said "It's Daddy" and he replied it has to be the other guy, he had just had heart surgery.  Something hit all of us and we left out of there on immediately. 
     Prior to that I had been with Daddy since he arrived at the ER.  Everyone else showed up later.  I was there waiting for him when the ambulance arrived.  He told the ambulance driver when they asked him who I was, "That is MY daughter".  Those are sweet words that still linger in my head.  We all were in the ER for a long time.  We waited and waited for some answers.  We waited and waited for Daddy to be put in a room.  When we finally got Daddy situated in a room, it was midday.  Daddy wanted us to take Momma and get her something to eat.  He wanted us to leave.  Since he was diagnosed with cancer he wanted Momma with him.  He wanted her at his side all of the time but this time he wanted her to go.  The last words he said to me was "Take your Momma to get something to eat".  Of course I did.  We all always did what Daddy told us to do.   Momma then kissed Daddy good-bye.   It did not make sense to us until days later.  He knew what was happening.  He knew he was about to leave.  He knew we did not want him to go.  He knew we needed him here.  He knew he could not stay.
      He sent us away to protect us.  He sent us away to prevent us from having to see him die.  He sent us away because he loved us.  He left this Earth doing what he had always done.....  protecting us.

April 4, 2010

Through death we experience many feelings. Death takes away people we love.  Death takes away people we need.  Death takes away people we want to have around for a very long time.  We are left here to carry on.  We are the ones who have to suffer.    So many people have told me about their pain when they had to experience  the "fist Christmas", "first Birthday", or the "first whatever" after they have loved someone they loved.  I have been extremely sad on those days but I can't help but focusing on the "last".  April 4th, 2010 was the last time I saw my Daddy at his house, in his chair where he is suppose to be.  Where I thought he would be for many more years because God knew how much I loved him and he would never take him away from me.  April 4th, 2010 was the last day that I was able to walk by my Daddy's chair with him in it and grab his hand as I walked by because he had his hand reached out to touch mine.  April 4th 2010, was the last time my babies were able to walk in their Pop's and Grandma's house and say "Hey Pops".  April 4th 2010, was the last time I listened to Daddy and my brothers talk in the living room about nothing that interested me as I had so many times for so many years.  April 4th, 2010 was the last time I walked out of my parents house assuming that I would be able to walk in the next day and see him in there again.  April 4th, 2010 was the last time my family was complete. 

Famous Quotes

I have a few quotes from some of my favorite people that I think should go in a book of "Famous Quotes".  You know we all  have those family members who say things over and over again when you are young and then when you reach a certain age you FINALLY figure out what they were meaning when they said those words that were irrelevant to you at the time......  I surely hope I am not the only one.  I am constantly using my own sayings in my everyday life whether it be at school, home, or wherever.  One of my own sayings that I say frequently is "Good Night in the Morning".  I have been told that I do not make any sense when I say this.  I have even had one young man go as far as googling this saying of mine and reporting back to me that I made absolutely no sense at all when I said it.  That has to be one of my favorite moments ever.  Another of my favorite that I stole from church camp is "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner".  This is a favorite of mine and I use it daily in my classroom.    But enough about my quotes; lets talk about some that actually should be in the book.  I have an aunt who is known by many people.  And to let you in a little secret....  she is one of my heroes.  One of my most favorite quotes of hers (and yes....  she has MANY) is.....  "I am going to kill you dead".  Really?  Does that make sense???  You bet it does....  It means you better sit up straight and pay attention to what she is saying......  or she just might "kill you dead".    She has been known to attack those that she loves with a yellow notepad. Just aske my husband.  Another saying by someone very dear to me is "We will see you in the funny papers".  You know..... as a kid when I heard my Grannie say this....  I would think to myself...  "Am I going to be in the comics this coming Sunday?"  :)  I never was :(.......  But as I got older and she continued to say it I knew she meant  "I will see you soon".  I would give anything to hear her say that just one more time.  My last famous quote comes from my Daddy.  I heard him say this on several occasions.  His was "Baby, you are having the time of your life.....  you just don't know it yet".  He would always say this when I was the most frustrated.....  when the kids were on my last nerve....  when I had 10 minutes to load up the kids to get to a ball practice....  He always knew the right time to say it.  It took me a while to figure out what he meant when he used this mixture of words.  I acutally thought he was saying "better you then me" when he would quote those words.  He would  say this when I was about to pull my hair out or he thought I was actually going to "kill one of his grandkids dead".  These words are forever inscribed on my heart.  I think of them when I am at my wits end. And yes.....  I would give anything to hear him say it again....just one more time..... as I was screaming at the kids to get their stuff and get in the truck and he was sitting on his front porch waving bye at all of us.  I think of these quotes and realize how lucky I have it.  I have 3 healthy active kids who run me ragged.  But I can rest when they are grown.  These 3 small little quotes from these 3 special people are a part of me and they all have influenced the type of person I am today. 

Word

I love that I have words that make me smile when I hear them or say them because they remind me or make me think of someone who makes me smile. They only make sense to me and those who understand their meaning.  Just a random blog about nothing.  Here are a few of those words in no certain order:

1) Peachy!!
2) Taco
3) Pineapple
4) A-OKAY
5) WORD!
6) Wierdo
7) Heifer
8) Fifty-Five
9) Aladdin
10) Jinx

First born.....

12 years ago today I welcomed my first born.  Hayes Cooper Crow.  He will forever be known as the "thing" that saved my marriage.  I will be the first to admit I was a horrible person when I was preggers with Hayes.  It took my mother and Loren convincing me of that......  they had some pretty good evidence.....  video tape.  I was ill, snappy, and not easy to please.  I was working weekends, student teaching, and taking a class at night.  Loren was working 3 jobs.   We never saw each other.  :(

On March 25th 1999, around 2:30 in the morning, I was so thirsty.  I sweet-talked Loren in to getting up and getting me some water.  He did.....  That was the best tasting water I had ever had.  About an hour later......  just was we were falling back to sleep......  MY WATER BROKE!!!!!!  I pushed on Loren and told him that he had to wake up and take me to the hospital.  I am guessing all he heard was "wake up".  His reply was "shut up Jill"......  I just laughed.....  He then realized what was going on.  It was pretty funny.  He decides to make a phone call.  I am assuming he is calling his parents......  he hangs up and I ask him to give me the phone so I can call my mom and dad and he says "I was just talking to your mom".......   WHAT?!?!?!?  I wanted to call my mom!!!  UGH!!!!!  oh well......  about 45 minutes later we were on our way......  :)

The very funny part of this story was I was in labor on the 4th floor of SMH and my older brother was on the first floor getting his tonsils taken out.  Yes.....  we checked into the family discount and we were denied.  It was very entertaining for me.  My mother spent her time running back and forth checking on me and then checking on the brother.  My sis in law, Heather would have to come up to where I was because Jimmy wanted to know what was going on with me.  Finally my Uncle Neil showed up and told mom to stay with me that he could handle Jimmy.  :).......  now I could finally concentrate on having this baby!!!

21 hours later at 12:14am he finally decided to make his grand appearance......  all of mine and Loren's troubles went away.  Now we knew we had a much bigger job then we ever had.  We had to take this baby home and try not to screw up.  We began to focus on something besides ourselves.  Hayes was the "thing" that saved our marriage. 

Just a little side note......  One of Jeff Foxworthy's redneck jokes goes like this..... "You might be redneck if an episode of Walker Texas Ranger has ever changed your life"........  WELL......  Hayes' middle name is my maiden name (Cooper)......  his full name is Hayes Cooper Crow........  there is a character from Walker Texas Ranger named.... "Hayes Cooper"........  well.....  I guess I have said enough......  :)


 

DUKE lost :(

I will be honest......  I love the DUKE Blue Devils.  I admit it.  I love the HOGS too!  The HOGS are my #1 team!!!!  BUT...... I am an avid DUKE fan.  When I was younger....  much younger....  I followed DUKE like a stalker.....  I loved Bobby Hurley, Grant Hill, Christian Laettner and mostly Coach K.  I loved watching them play.  I was so torn when the Hogs had to play them in 1994.  I was such a minority in my family as well as at GR.  I was "that girl" who liked DUKE.  My friends were very accepting.  They bought me many DUKE gifts, posters, shirts, a DUKE trashcan, but my fav gift was from my mom and dad (I know dad had nothing to do with it really).  It was a DUKE Blue Devils watch that played "We are the Champions".  It was GREAT!!!!  When DUKE and the HOGS met to play for the championship in 1994, I was not at home.  I was watching the game at my friend Beth's house.  When Scotty Thurman (whom I have been asked to keep my distance from by a Bud Walton security guard but that is another blog) hit that shot to win the NCAA championship, I immediately thought... "Oh no..... I will never hear the end of this" and I was right.....  Beth's phone began to ring (this was before we all had cell phones).......  I was just so pleased that "someone" informed everyone of where I was ......  I began to take one call after another......  I took it like a champ too!!!!!  I was secretly glad that the HOGS brought home the trophy but I had an image to uphold.  :)
SO.......to carry on the tradition of letting me know when DUKE loses my brother sent me a text at 8:57 this morning saying "Duke got sent home last night".  They all just love to say that!!!!!